In the last week and a half, we have been busy bees and have been moving around A LOT, wrapping up our time in Vietnam. We spent 1 night in Hanoi, 1 night in Halong Bay, 1 night on Cat Ba Island, 2 nights in Hanoi, 4 nights in Sapa and 1 night in Hanoi again. We experienced another bustling city, a touristy but picturesque bay, and a cold but cool mountain town.
Leaving Phong Nha we opted to fly instead of bus to Hanoi. Although it is only around 310 miles, it takes over 10 hours to get there by bus. While many people from our trek opted for the overnight bus, we ended up finding a $17 flight from the Dong Hoi airport, an hour outside of Phong Nha. Considering the bus cost $8 we figured we wouldn’t be saving that much. We took the local bus to the airport, which was very tiny and empty. The bus filled up with locals as we made stops along the way. Since we had to check out of our hotel early anyway, we decided to just head directly to the airport rather than sticking around and being rushed. We ended up getting there three or so hours early and there were some snack bars in the terminal but that’s it. We couldn’t even check in for our flight yet! But on a positive note, the WiFi was great so we watched Netflix while we waited. Unfortunately, the waiting continued as our flight delayed three more times. So we ended up waiting for five hours at the airport for a 30 minute flight! Although we were tired and hungry, we agreed it was still better than a 10 hour overnight bus.
We finally made it to Hanoi, the capital city of Vietnam, around 10 PM and grabbed a taxi to take us to our hostel. Even though it was so late at night, there was still traffic. We arrived at our hostel around 10:45, dropped off our stuff and went out to get some food. I’m not sure if we are just used to things here now, or if it is significantly less hectic, but we weren’t as overwhelmed walking the streets - despite Hanoi having a population of 7.5 million people and 5 million motorbikes. We got some pork skewers and snacks, mentally prepared for another busy three day tour and passed out.
We woke up bright and early the next morning since we were being picked up for our two night cruise in Halong Bay. Picking this tour was very challenging. There are hundreds of different travel companies, boats, websites, and scams all advertising the same types of tours with slightly different names and itineraries but pretty big price differences. After hours of research and reading TripAdvisor forums, we opted for a cruise in the middle of the price range and we’re glad we did because after going on the tour, we didn’t really spend much time in our rooms and the expensive tours probably would’ve covered the same activities.
We met up with the other people in our tour which consisted of a guide named Louis, a couple from England, two couples from the Netherlands, a couple from Canada/Scotland, a couple from NYC/Australia, a couple from England/Ireland and an older American couple from Northern California. Everyone got along pretty well and we enjoyed exchanging travel plans/tips, playing cards, and drinking beer. The three days of our tour was pretty jam packed with activities and a strict timeline. We spent a lot of time on the top deck of the boat taking in the scenery which consisted of hundreds of limestone rock islands, floating villages and fish farms, and tons of other boat tours. We went kayaking on two different occasions in the bay where we saw a wild monkey (one of the highlights for me), we hiked to the top of one of the rocks for a 360 degree view, and we toured another cave (we were over caves at this point). We did another “trek” but this one was less intense, and we went cycling on Cat Ba Island (the largest island in the bay). We were very active to say the least. We spent a lot of time on board chatting, eating, and drinking beer. The food consisted mainly of seafood, so I almost starved, but luckily they made extra food (chicken and pork) for me to eat. Al enjoyed the fact that he didn’t need “special food” for a change and I did.
We spent the first night on the boat in Bai Tu Long Bay (next to Halong Bay), each in our own cabins which were pretty nice considering the external condition of the boat which looked old and rundown. The second night, we stayed on Cat Ba Island which we learned has a population of around 13,000 people - many of whom live on floating fishing villages off the coasts of the Island. These are exactly what they sound like - small floating houses on wooden planks over the water. It’s crazy to think people live on these 24-7. While we could’ve done our own thing for dinner, our group decided to all go eat together since it was one of the girls birthdays. Louis, our tour guide, bought a cake and candles, and brought us to a local restaurant where we spent several hours eating hot pot and drinking round after round of beer. I felt like I was back in college for a moment as Louis kept ordering more and more beer and making frequent toasts for us to do “bottoms up” and finish our beer. It was funny to see our tour guide let loose a bit and fun for us to drink with a local. After dinner we made our way to a place called the “Rose Bar”. There had been a sticker on the boat advertising for this place because they have happy hour from 6 PM - 2 AM and “laughing gas” which was something new to me but I guess is a thing here. We didn’t try it though. This place was geared towards Westerners as they had a beer pong table set up and American music playing. We hung out there for a few more hours before returning to the hotel which was the nicest one we had stayed in up to this point.
The last day of the tour was primarily spent traveling back to Hanoi which took about four hours by boat and four hours by car. We got back to Hanoi around 4:30 PM and were dropped off at our hotel. Even though our experience in Halong Bay felt touristy at times and the weather was a little foggy and gray, we are still glad we did it!
One thing that has been so different traveling here in Vietnam versus Europe is that we can’t do as much on our own. To see certain things, hiring a private car or going on a group tour are the only ways. While we often prefer to do things on our own time and pace, it was nice having some company outside of ourselves, being surrounded by likeminded travelers, and being able to just follow a guide from place to place rather than figure out the logistics on our own. During our tours in Phong Nha and in Ha Long Bay, I enjoyed talking to the local Vietnamese tour guides and asking them questions about their lives, families and Vietnamese culture. However, we were happy when our back to back tours ended and we gained some freedom back in our daily routine.
Since it was Christmas we decided to treat ourselves a bit and booked a bougie hotel for a couple nights in Hanoi using Priceline Express Deals. While we have been traveling pretty cheaply and we haven’t stayed in any horrific conditions, this was a nice gift to ourselves for Christmas and we enjoyed every second of it. We got to make use of a rooftop pool (although it was freezing), a jacuzzi, a big comfy bed (the beds here tend to be very firm), a bath tub, and Christmas movies on the TV. It was nice to actually have a separated shower and bath tub since most of our hostels here have “wet rooms” which consist of a room with a shower head, toilet and sink and you get everything wet when you shower. Most people in Vietnam don’t celebrate Christmas since it is a primarily Buddhist country, but for the sake of Westerners, there were tons of Christmas trees and Christmas music playing so it felt a bit like home. This was both of ours first time being away from family during the holidays and while it was nice not having to stress out over holiday present shopping this year, we still missed our families and traditions.
On Christmas, we met Jess & Rorie, an American couple we had met during our trek in Phong Nha, who were doing a similar around the world trip, and another one of their couple friends from California for dinner. We ate at a restaurant owned by a Canadian guy, that served a typical Christmas meal (equivalent to my Thanksgiving dinner) - turkey & gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, stuffing, Brussel sprouts and squash soup. The food was delicious and conversation was great and it almost felt like we were back at home for a second. It was definitely a nice change from our daily fried rice, spring rolls, pho, and Snickers (yes we have been having these pretty regularly to get our sugar fix). The rest of our time in Hanoi we didn’t really do much. And since we both get overwhelmed by the cities here, we didn’t feel we missed much on the site seeing front. Al got his third international haircut which was a success considering the barber spoke no English (Al has Asian hair though so they know what to do out here). He got it for a whopping 100,000 dong which is around $4 USD and we’ve seen advertisements for even cheaper ones.
After spending a few days pampering ourselves, we were quickly reminded we were in a country where poverty exists and felt a little guilty about it. We made our way to the town of Sa Pa in Northern Vietnam (about five and a half hours by bus). Through all my research and advice from friends/family, Sa Pa seemed like a must as part of our tour of Vietnam. It is a small mountain town located close to China that is well known for its rice terraces, trekking, the highest peak in Vietnam, and the many ethnic minority groups living in the valley. Unfortunately, this isn’t the best time of year to visit Sa Pa but we decided to visit anyway even though we heard about poor weather conditions.
As soon as we got off our bus in Sa Pa, we were instantly swarmed by several women dressed in colorful traditional clothing, trying to sell us trinkets and trekking tours. The begging, nagging, and following us as we walked, continued throughout our time here in Sa Pa. At times it was annoying but it also made me feel bad as I realized that the little money these women make from selling to tourists can go a long way for them (the mountain people tend to live in more poverty than in other parts of Vietnam). What was even more shocking was seeing young girls dressed up, walking around doing the same thing - girls as young as 4 or 5 and many whom carried younger siblings on their backs. I wanted to buy something from each one of them but we didn’t because we were informed not to buy things from kids because it encourages them to be out of school. It was pretty heartbreaking having to say no to little kids who were begging us to buy little bracelets from them.
Seeing these women and children on every corner made me curious to know more about their background and culture. Many of them were very friendly and would come up to us and say hello and ask where we were from, how old we were, how many siblings we had, etc. But then the conversation would turn to them trying to sell us something or saying they would lead us to the village and then we could “go shopping” there and pay them. We quickly learned “maybe later” was not a good response as they would continue to haggle and follow us.
I decided to research and read up on these ethnic minority groups a bit more myself. I learned that Vietnam has 54 ethnic minority groups who make up 8% of the population (around 9 million people), many of whom live in the mountains around small towns like Sa Pa. In learning this, I didn’t entirely understand what ethnic minority meant - do these people still consider themselves Vietnamese? Where did they come from originally? I am not the expert but from what I understand, there are villages of these ethnic minority groups throughout Vietnam, which have their own languages, religious practices, clothing, social organization, marriage customs, and cultures. Many of them do not consider themselves Vietnamese (and don’t even speak the language) and they are widespread across SE Asia. The main ethnic minorities in Sa Pa are the Black Hmong, Red Dao, Tay, Xha Pho, and Giay people. If you are interested in learning more about the different minorities cultural practices, I found a website that summarizes each one below and some of the differences are quite shocking.
Our time in Sa Pa was pretty cold, cloudy and rainy but we did have some stints of sunshine. We visited Cat Cat village which was down in the valley and reminded me a bit of Tom Sawyer Island in Disneyland. At first glance, it looked pretty amazing, but we soon realized it was very staged for tourists and some things like the cherry blossom trees were fake which was disappointing. We also spent a day trekking to Lao Chai village which is a Black Hmong village. We saw some beautiful views of the terraced rice fields and mountains, and tons of animals roaming around including huge pot bellied pigs (and their piglets), goats, water buffalo, dogs (and their puppies), and chickens. Many times, these animals were eating trash (which is everywhere here) which was very sad. It seems like animals have to fend for themselves when it comes to finding food here. Seeing the tiny, heatless, one or two room homes in the villages was also really eye opening and made me so thankful for what I have. Since it rained for a full day, we also spent some time researching and planning the remainder of our trip (crazy how we are getting close to this already) so we don’t have to think about it anymore. Although we froze our butts off, we’re glad we made the effort to come to Sapa. It is a very interesting place culturally and we had some delicious food here so can’t complain about that.
We took a bus back to Hanoi for one more night before we left Vietnam for good. Now that I have had a lot of time to reflect and process what we’ve seen the last month, I have realized some pretty significant cultural differences (mostly relating to marriage and kids) which I had no idea about before coming here. I think these are more specific to smaller villages and towns but from the locals we have talked to, these practices seem consistent.
- Marriages are often carried out for the sake of having children rather than love (not to say this isn’t also a part of it). Our tour guide Quan in Phong Nha, was 27 and told us he was getting old and would probably get married next year. I asked him what if you don’t want to get married and have kids, and he said it wasn’t really an option. This was what was expected of him. In the ethnic minority tribes, it is typical to see kids ages 14-18 getting married and having kids right away, WHAT?
- Having a boy is preferred over having a girl. Our tour guide Louis in Halong Bay was recently married and now has an 11 month old boy. He told me he was relieved to have a son because boys can carry on the family name and help take care of the family as they get older. Often times, couples will keep having kids until they have a boy. It is also expected that children support their parents financially as they get older. I watched a documentary called Daughter from Da Nang on YouTube which emphasizes this point.
- Often times parents still choose mates for their kids based on their monetary status and what dowry the boy and his family can provide. I learned that there is something called a “Love Market” here in the mountains of Northern Vietnam where young teens from the ethnic minority tribes go to try and meet a husband. If a connection is found, the girl will often go and stay with the boy and his family for three days in which she can decide if she wants to marry him or not.
- Divorce is looked down upon and brings shame to the family and thus it is not very common. We did meet a woman when we were in Hoi An who disclosed to us that she left her husband because he beat her. Now she is an independent woman, working hard to support her family. Despite all this, she was very upbeat and happy and she told us that “being happy makes no wrinkles” which I thought was cute and good advice!
- Human trafficking is an issue on the Vietnam/China border as well as Vietnam/Cambodia border. Ethnic minority girls/women are the biggest targets and are often lured in by promises of a job, better life, etc. Many of these women are sold as sex slaves, brides to Chinese men, or workers on farms and never see their families again.
It was shocking for me to learn that some of these cultural practices still exist. I can’t imagine living in a place where some of these rules/expectations are enforced and I didn’t have the freedom to choose what to do with my life and who to love. I can’t imagine not having the opportunity to go to school and having to help support my family monetarily from age 4 or 5. I can’t imagine growing up in a tiny house with no heat and tons of siblings, peeing in a hole in the ground, washing dishes and laundry in a tub outside, living on streets filled with trash, walking by street vendors selling all sorts of raw meat and parts of animals everyday and having to fear for my life every time I cross the street. And while these things aren’t custom to all of the people living here, many of them don’t know any different and they probably will never get the chance to travel elsewhere. They may not have a lot when it comes to money, but family is everything to the people here and that is one of my greatest takeaways. It has made me realize the little things we have back home are luxuries.
Vietnam has by far been the most culturally shocking place I have been to date. It has been one of those places that made me take a step back and realize how lucky I am to have grown up where I did. While certain things were uncomfortable and at times hard to witness, I am glad we pushed ourselves through it because our time here has forever altered our perspective on life and the world.
I can’t believe our 30 days (our max visa time) in Vietnam have come to an end! While we are ready to move on to our next country, we will look back on the great experiences and nice people we have met while in Vietnam. We are now heading to Siem Reap, Cambodia for the New Year.
Happy New Year!